This is not a Coincidence

I am gearing up for yet another endeavor... project...time-stealer...call it what you will, I am at it again. People who know me well will not be surprised. I am always starting something. This is a big something. (and no, it's not another baby.)

but, it relates to babies.

When i was preganant with Raelin, we took a Birthing From Within childbirth education class. it was taught by a friend of ours, someone who I admire and see as one of those people who is a mentor-by-example. The class was great: alternative, artsy, challenging, insightful, and most of all, useful. I really used what I learned in labor, and returned to the postpartum reunion charged up and ready to sign on as an instructor.

well, fast forward a couple of years and I'm in the certification program. I have found many excuses to procrastinate in actually doing the homework and starting to teach. I started a different business (there i go again), have limited time without Raelin to work, developed a social life, etc.. etc... But like most things that are True, teaching these classes would not let go of me. I tried to shake it off. I don't have time. I would have to invest money we can't really spare. There are other people teaching classes. Excuse upon excuse. I finally acknowledged the tugging about a month ago and gave in. Fine! I'll do it!! I'll finish the damn program.

About the same time, I had put up an ad for my other business. Previously when I ran an ad in the same place, I got great results. I was sewing fairly regularly to keep up with orders. This time- nada. You would think the ad is invisible to everyone but me (as it pops up nearly everytime I log onto the bulletin boards where I have it running). So I found myself with the time I claimed I didn't have. Then I needed a space to teach the classes. Hmmm... I asked a friend who I thought might know a bit more about downtown spaces. In fact, she did (of course she did. can't you see where this is going?) Not only did she know of a space, it was a space that a friend of hers who is a massage therapist/doula was trying to secure. Said friend was looking for other like-minded women in the pregnancy/women's health arena to rent the space with her and conceive a Resource Center for women. um, ok.

so, yes, I am putting in money we could be using elsewhere. But I have been given in exchange time, and space, and inspriation. these things are fairly priceless.

I should not be surprised that things are working out this way. Indeed, I often feel that this is the way my life goes. I feel the tug. I listen. I follow. What I Need materializes.

Some people will say that these are coincidences. Or, that life is just like that- there is nothing special about it. I don't believe that. Rather, I choose not to believe that. I think it is special. I think it is extraoridinary when I listen to myself, act on what I hear, and lo and behold find some measure of success with my endeavor. I could call it Faith, but that is so overused. I prefer to choose this line of trust and acknowledge that yes, I could be wrong. It could all be coincidence, and had I chosen a different set of actions I might be raving about how well those are coming together too. But, you know what? this is more fun. I choose to believe in a life that is special- not that I am special, but that my decisions are not pure chance. That in fact, I am listening to something deeper and because I am heeding that, the path is graceful. Looking at life the other way (all coincidence) is, in a word, boring. Who the hell wants to live like that? Life is so much more magical when I say, 'yes, of course it is happening this way.' not, 'huh. that's interesting.'

We have a good friend/mentor who runs classes that often intersect with people's spiritual beliefs. He has lived an extraordinary life, full of the kinds of guidance i am describing. He speaks of things that I have never seen or experienced. Many non-believers challenge him on the validity and proof behind what he shares with them. Argument is not his response. He simply says, "I just know." There is no way to convince or describe to someone how you recognize things that are "unexplainable" or "just coincidences." You just know. And when they open themselves to it, they will know too.

I'm not a New Age nut. In fact, I hate New Age, and this presents a problem, because I would have a receptive audience with them. This is not about la-la bullshit. It's more about gratitude. It's about seeing the road of skeptic and cynic and turning the other way.
It's about risking other people thinking you are a stupid fool and not saying anything. There's no need to, because I know.