Tuesday, February 22, 2005

I can't wait for this...

This was posted on the online mommy boards that I frequent more than I should. It was actually copied from the poster's friend's blog.

This is why we have children.

(M= mom
R= 7 year old daughter
J= 4 year old son)

R: Umm, you know how you said the guy has the sperm and the girl has the egg?

M: Yes

R: Well, and umm..the guy had a penis and the girl a gina?

M: Vagina, yes

J: I have a penis because I’m a BOY! (Here he pulls he pants down to prove it.)

M: Jarod, dinner isn’t exactly the best time to remove clothing.

J: But I have a penis

M: We all know, thank you.

R: Jarod, I’m trying to talk. Go wash your hands. You can’t eat after you touch your penis.

J: I didn’t PEE, I just showed it a little.

R: There’s still germs

J: No, germs are in the pee. MY penis is clean.

M: Okey dokey….lets just eat ok?

R: Well, I know that you told me one time that people sex and that’s how the sperm gets to the egg but umm…I was just wondering if you and daddy sex?

M: Yes

R: But you don’t want more babies right now, so why?

M: Ummm…well….because it’s also a connection that couples enjoy.

R: Does it feel good because in movies when people sex they look happy.

M; Aaaa….ummm…yes it can be very pleasurable.

R: Why?

M: Because our genitals have sensitive nerve endings that feel good when they are aroused is one reason.

R: Oh, well how many times do you sex?

M: Well, that’s kinda private.

R: Can I watch sometime?

J: I wanna watch you and daddy axe!

R: Not axe dummy, SEX. You want to watch them sex!

J: What’s sex?

R: It’s when the sperm tries to go to the egg and if the egg is there it makes a baby but if the egg is not there is comes out all bloody and mommy wears a big band aid in her panties.

J: I want to have an egg.

R: You can’t, you have the sperm. I have the egg.

J: I want the egg! I want the egg! Momma tell her I can have the egg.

M: Why do you want the egg?

J: I want the baby in my belly, like in your books.

M: Well, I don’t know what to tell you sweetie. Maybe when you’re older it will be possible.

J: Can I milk it to?

M: What?

J: My baby? Can I give it my milk?

M: Umm…suuure.

R: Mom? Sometimes at night I go to the bathroom and your door is closed and you have your music up really loud but I can still hear you making noises. Is that when you sex daddy.

M: Oh my god….

R: Yeah, sometimes I hear you say that when I’m in the bathroom.

M: :At loss for words:

J: Can I sex daddy too?

M: * Deep Breath* Ok, Rebecca daddy and I listen to music a lot while we do a lot of things…talk, read, play board games and stuff. It doesn't mean we are necessary having sex. And Jarod it’s not a good idea to have sex with someone you are related too. Now, who wants dessert? I think we should make ice cream.

R & J: Woohooo, I love ice cream!


Blogger xz said...

i disagree.

dinner is a fine time to remove clothing. and i want some ice cream, too while we're at it.

6:36 PM  
Blogger eetraveling said...

ha! that's great. and gross!

5:30 PM  
Blogger Bartlebee said...

that was the funniest thing i'd seen in a loooong time. thank you SO much for sharing. i can't wait to read raelin's version of this story. and ronan's. and zella's. and bluma's. other people's kids are so much fun!

1:08 PM  

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