I am-

in a word... ginormous.

occasionally i look down at my belly and think, hmmm...not too big. and then i catch a glance of my profile in a window and i startle and my expansive girth. I'll post a photo here in the next day or so, because you really can't begin to appreciate it without a true visual.

and i understand now why most of the moms in my online due date club (yeah, yeah...) are way ahead of me in completing the "to do before baby" list- because at this stage, there is barely enough range of motion, let alone energy, to get simple household tasks done. Forget painting baby rooms, washing and putting away baby clothes, etc...and yet, here i am, at just about 37 weeks (out of 40, for those who may be a bit rusty on their gestational knowledge) hunkered over plastic tubs, attempting to sort through baby clothes with my toddler. I have a list of very fine projects in my mind that i would love to accomplish... like finishing the mural i started in raelin's room, felting some shapes and animals to make a mobile for the baby (requires standing at the sink, at which i must do at an angle now), sewing flannel wipes (a possibility, since i get to sit, though again, might have to face the machine at an angle), and planting various seeds in the garden. One of these might actually get done, and it will probably be the sewing. And maybe the gardening which is actually quite a good thing, since leaning over encourages the baby to face in an anterior position, (face down) rather than rolling over to posterior (face up). Posterior labor sucks. I haven't had to do it (thankfully) and don't need to experience it to know i dont' wanna.

So, needless to say, i am eating my contempt at those mom's who had all the baby clothes sorted etc... by 6 months.

The other problem with end of the pregnancy and projects is that this crazy nesting urge kicks in...like a bird building from scratch, i suddenly want to redecorate. I spontaneously need to clean out drawers and cupboards, organize photos, and shop at Target for coordinated organizer bins. This is great and all, but since i walk at 1/4 speed (make that waddle at 1/4 speed) and need to sit down after about 30 minutes or so, it's mostly an exercise in frustration.

So, I admit it. I'm blogging as an outlet to whine.

At least with all of these aches and pains and whines come the unmistakable signs that a baby is on the way- not just the contractions and the fact that my midwife says the baby is so nestled into my pelvis she can barely feel it's head (!!!), but there's a birthing tub in our house!! It's all wrapped up in an orange canvas bag, just waiting for *the* moment when true labor is upon us. There are a few boxes of supplies at the foot of our bed, and a page on our fridge entitled, "when to call the midwife...."

I am so excited to meet this little kicker and roller... in some ways, more excited than i was with Raelin. I had no idea what i was getting into with her- all i saw was the unknown of birth on the horizon; whatever lay beyond in parenting was beyond the curve. This time, i am all the wiser- and my thoughts pause briefly on labor (pain, endorphins...big push! all done!) and then i get to muse on the juicy parts: boy or girl? will it look like Raelin? act like Raelin? active or mellow? the questions are endless.

so, be on the lookout for some email or quick blog or something alerting you that birth is afoot here. Though my due date is still 4 weeks hence and I could go late, babies set their own agenda... we could be a family of 4 any day now.