Saturday, July 01, 2006

wow... it's been a long time since I've blogged. A lot can happen in a month, and I guess that's why i've been avoiding my little outlet here. Too much can happen sometimes, things that take time to digest, things that are too big to find words to wrap around them. yes, I'm talking about my father in law's accident, but also, all of the daily occurances that mingle with bigger thoughts and realizations that jumble together and seem to tangled to sort out in something so simple as a blog post.

So, I'm not going to write about FIL's accident. Everyone who is close to me or my family knows that it happened and is probably getting the updates via email, so i dont want to repeat anything there. And really, i'm just not up to it. Not because it isnt' important or very much a part of our daily life, but because it *is* a part of our daily life so I'm going to let it reside there.

In other news, Liam is growing like... like a piglet! he has gained 3 pounds in two weeks! Now, I suppose you might think, well, if i ate as much as he does i'd gain 3 pounds in a few days. But then you gotta consider that 3 pounds is 20% of his body weight. So, if you're 150lbs., 20% of your body weight is roughly 30 pounds. Um, gaining 30 pounds in 2 weeks would be a *bit* out of control. So, 3 pounds on a kid that was 12 pounds just 14 days ago is, noteworthy. He has some beautiful rolls going on his arms and thighs and, as my friend Kim pointed out, no true neck. God, i love fat, breastfed babies!!

he is also smiling like crazy and makes these great semi-roars and sqeals. He love, love, loves to lie on the futon and stare at this small Tibetan rug we have hanging on the wall. When the track lighting is on the colors are illuminated and it is quite beautiful. Kid's got good taste. He also likes kicking around on his back in his Gymini (play mat with toys dangling down) and taking uncoordinated lobs with his clenched fists at the various accoutraments hanging above him. I attempted to get some video the other morning, but guess who stole the show?

Raelin is in major baby-play mode. She sucks on the pacifier, occasionally breaks out in fake cries, asks to be carried in the baby carriers, etc..It's all perfectly normal and we more or less apease her while raving about all the "big girl" things she can do as well, which are many and wonderful. I am finding myself positively endeared by her again, which is a relief after immediate post-partum perpetual annoyance. Apparently the "dirty little secret" about having a second child is that you begin to resent your first. I was feeling pretty challenged by this, and am grateful that it's diminishing and we seem to be getting into a groove as a family, despite all the ups and downs of Bill's accident and the changes of becoming a larger family.

Help from my mom has been amazing, and our wonderful friend Jason, with the help of many, many kind and generous folks, came out and lent a hand for a week. all of these things have made a tremendous difference in our mental health and our coping abilities. Often when i am listening to the news, or reading the paper about various catastrophes and issues around the globe, i feel a bit selfish and ineffective in my life and the need to find *some* way to reach out and lend some help. After the past few months though, I'm realizing that perhaps one of the best ways to be effective in the world is to help and support those close to you, be it directly, or as many of the RS folks did by helping Jason get out here to help. (This is not in any way to discount reaching out in bigger ways, or outside one's immediate sphere.) It may seem "small" in a global sense, but i firmly believe that when people feel loved and supported by their families and communities, they are buoyed and assisted in living their lives healthier and richer. Healthier and soulfully rich people in turn, are more likely to then help others and so on. You know, the whole pay-it-forward concept. It's been a good reminder...I think i've slacked a bit in this lately, and the reminder is welcome.

In closing, in a somewhat related tangent though it is late and my brain is quitting on me as i type, I had a conversation with a friend the other night and the subject of jobs came up and i mentioned some things i've been thinking of. nothing earth shattering or dream-job quality or even aspiring. since becoming a mom and investigating life from a completely different angle than that of a childless, post-college career seeking position, i have come to realize that jobs are simply jobs and nothign more. certainly they can encompass and be an outlet for one's passion, but there is more to life that finding and keeping the one perfect "job." a perfect reminder of this is to look at the wall in my father' in law's hospital room. It is covered in cards and letters from friends, family, well-wishers. his email update list has over 250 "subscribers" who are following his progress. I figure that if, at his age (63) i have relationships and touched the lives of that many folks... well, that's a good "job".


Blogger juli claire said...

Just want to say hello and that I always appreciate reading your posts. I can't wait to meet Liam - hopefully not more than a few months from now! And to see all of you again.

11:16 PM  

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